The Handyman
Clarence, the neighborhood handyman, is laying carpet in an old lady's home. No spring chicken himself, Clarence finishes the task and looks in his shirt sleeve for his pack of smokes. Not finding them, he turns his head and notices
a lump in the middle of the carpet.
"Crap!" he says, "I must've dropped my cigarettes on the floor and carpeted over them. I know,
I'll whack the pack with my hammer 'til I flatten them out."
So Clarence gets out his hammer and pounds the bump flat.
At that moment, the old lady walks in with his pack of cigarettes.
"Here," she says, "you must've left these in the kitchen. Now if only I could find my kitten..."