Slyib's Joke Vault
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Category: Government Jokes
California v. Arizona
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
- The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
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He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the
State $200, testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
- The Governor calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases.
- The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
- The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts
a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
- The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
awareness" program for residents of the area.
- The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
- The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack
somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
- Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new
security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
- PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A
Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
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The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps
jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
- The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that's why California is broke.
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