The Old Lady and the Parrot
A recently widowed elderly lady goes to the pet store to see if a pet will ease her loneliness. She decides against puppies and kittens and is about to leave the store when she hears a voice saying, "My, you do look lovely this afternoon, madam."
She turns around quickly to see who has spoken, but sees no one except a big, green parrot, resting on a perch in his cage.
"Did you say that?" she asks.
"Why, yes, I did!" he replies. "And may I add that that dress is a very nice color for you!"
The lady suddenly realizes how nice it would be to not only have a talking parrot, but one that paid such nice compliments. So she buys him and takes him home.
When they arrive home, the parrot takes a look around the place, complains and swears, and bites her on the arm. The woman is quite surprised by this change in behaviour. She grabs the parrot from his cage, marches down the stairs into the basement, and stuffs the parrot in the freezer. She leaves him in the freezer for five minutes before taking him out. The parrot is very cold.
She asks, "Well? Have you learned your lesson? I will not tolerate such behaviour in my house!"
The parrot says, "Okay, okay, I promise it won't happen again. I am deeply sorry."
Not five minutes later, the parrot is cursing again and bites her again on the arm.
The lady is absolutely stunned. She plucks the parrot out of his cage, goes down the stairs, into the cellar, and, slam... into the freezer. This time, she leaves him in there for 15 minutes. When the widow finally takes him out, the parrot is shivering and has light frost on the beak.
"L-L-Lady, I s-s-swear it will n-n-never ever happen again! I w-w-will never insult or b-b-bite you as long as I l-l-live! I p-p-promise!"
As he thaws, he looks up at the lady and asks, "I do have one question though. That turkey in there... what'd he do?"