Q: How does a bass player show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

On a flight recently, a friend of ours decided to start a conversion with his seatmate. "I've got a great guitarist joke," he began. "Would you like to hear it?"

"I should let you know first that I am a guitarist." Replied his neighbor.

"No problem. I'll tell it real slow!"

Q. What do you throw a drowning guitarist?

A. His amplifier.

A man and his son are walking through a cemetery. As the boy is looking down, he asks, "Daddy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

The father asks, "Two people? Let me see what you're looking at."

So the father takes a look, and sure enough, the head stone reads, "Here lies a symphony conductor and a humble man."

Q. Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?

A. The bassoon burns longer.

A bagpipe player was returning from a practice, and, feeling tired, decided to stop at a bar for a rest and a glass of beer.

Halfway through his beer he remembered he'd left his bagpipes on the passenger's seat of the car. He rushed outside, but it was too late.

Someone had broken the window and put two more bagpipes on the seat!

Q. How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five. One to change the light bulb and four to stand around and say, "Man, if I'd had his      studio time, I could have done that."

Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

A: "Hey guys, let's do one of my songs!"

Q. How many sound engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. None. They don't do lights.

Q: What do you call 100 accordionists at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A good start.

Q. What's black and brown and looks good on a guitar player?

A. A Doberman.