One day Timmy came home from school very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what? Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around 'Q'!" His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a drummer."

The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!"

"Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a drummer."

On the third day, Timmy was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a drummer?"

"No dear," she said. "That's because you're 27 years old."

Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?

A. One who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy.

After years of a peaceful co-existence, the Amati shop decided to put a sign in the window saying: "We make the best violins in Italy!"

The Guarneri shop soon followed suit, and put a sign in their window proclaiming: "We make the best violins in the world!"

Finally, the Stradivarius family put a sign out at their shop saying: "We make the best violins on the block."

Q. What's the difference between a lead guitarist and the rear end of a horse?

A. I don't know, either.

Joey: "Know how to make a million dollars singing jazz?"

Zoey: "Ya got me. How?"

Joey: "Start with two million..."

Q. What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A. A fiddle is fun to listen to.