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Yet More Of
My Favorite Musician Jokes

By Brett McCarron

(Page 6) Here are even more musician jokes that should get a smile when you tell 'em on stage or at your next rehearsal.

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Two people were walking down the street.

One was a musician.

The other didn't have any money, either.

Q. What are the three most difficult years in a bass players life?

A. Second grade.

Q. What do you have when a keyboard player is buried up to his neck in sand?

A: Not enough sand.

Q: What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

A: "Hey guys, let's do one of my songs!"

Q. How many sound engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. None. They don't do lights.

Q: What do you call 100 accordionists at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A good start.

Q. What's black and brown and looks good on a guitar player?

A. A Doberman.

A tour manager comes across the lead guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the stage, pulls them apart, and asks what the problem was.

"That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass", says the bass player, "And we're on stage in five minutes."

"So what's the problem?", asks the tour manager. "Tune it back and go play."

"He won't tell me which string he detuned!" cries the bassist.

Q: What's the definition of a "lucky break?"

A: When a busload of lead singers goes off a cliff.

Q: What's the definition of a "crying shame?"

A: There was an empty seat.

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