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Yet More Of
My Favorite Musician Jokes

By Brett McCarron

(Page 5) Here are even more musician jokes that should get a smile when you tell 'em on stage or at your next rehearsal.

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Q. What do you call a blonde lead singer with half a brain?

A. Gifted!


Q. If you drop a conductor and a watermelon off a tall building, which will hit the ground        first?

A. Who cares?


Saint Peter is greeting the new arrivals at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" asks St. Peter.

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels -- I divided all the money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are set for at least three generations."

St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."

"Wonderful!" beams Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five hundred dollars in my entire lifetime."

"Good heavens!" exclaims St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"


Q. How do you get a guitarist to play softer?

A. Put some sheet music in front of him.


Q. What's the difference between a punk guitarist and a bag of garbage?

A. The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.


A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a gift certificate good for several bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, how did it go?"

"Great! Today I learned the first three notes on the E string."

Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first three notes on the A string."

A week later, the son comes home far later than usual, reeking of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson? And why are you so late?"

"Sorry, Dad, I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"


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Still More Of My Favorite Musician Jokes - Page 3

Musician's Tips Index

Blamepro.com  
Home page


American Musical Supply - your musical gear source your purchase helps keep our content free

Click for more Tips and How-To articles for musicians and performers
Still More Of
My Favorite Musician Jokes

By Brett McCarron

(Page 3) Here are still more musician jokes that should get a smile when you tell 'em on stage or at your next rehearsal.

<< Back  |  More Jokes >>


Q: How does a bass player show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.


On a flight recently, a friend of ours decided to start a conversion with his seatmate. "I've got a great guitarist joke," he began. "Would you like to hear it?"

"I should let you know first that I am a guitarist." Replied his neighbor.

"No problem. I'll tell it real slow!"


Q. What do you throw a drowning guitarist?

A. His amplifier.


A man and his son are walking through a cemetery. As the boy is looking down, he asks, "Daddy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

The father asks, "Two people? Let me see what you're looking at."

So the father takes a look, and sure enough, the head stone reads, "Here lies a symphony conductor and a humble man."


Q. Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?

A. The bassoon burns longer.


A bagpipe player was returning from a practice, and, feeling tired, decided to stop at a bar for a rest and a glass of beer.

Halfway through his beer he remembered he'd left his bagpipes on the passenger's seat of the car. He rushed outside, but it was too late.

Someone had broken the window and put two more bagpipes on the seat!


Q. How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five. One to change the light bulb and four to stand around and say, "Man, if I'd had his      studio time, I could have done that."


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