Musician's Tips Index
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Still More Of
My Favorite Musician Jokes
By Brett McCarron
(Page 4) Here are even more musician jokes that should get a smile when you tell 'em on stage or at your next rehearsal.
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Fred goes on holiday to Africa. As he steps off the plane, Fred hears the distant sound of beating drums. "Ah!" he thinks, "Africa!" He turns to the flight attendant on the plane and asks, "Tell me, do the drums ever stop beating?" "No!" replies the stewardess, frowning, "Drums stop - very bad!" With that, Fred makes his way down to the runway wondering what that was all about.
He gets his luggage and gets into a taxi to take him to his hotel. On the way he hears the distant drums beating again. Leaning forward to the taxi driver, he asks, "Tell me, do the drums ever stop beating?” The taxi driver slams on the brakes, brings the car to a halt and turns round, his forehead deeply furrowed. "No!" he cries. "Drums stop - very very bad!" Intimidated just a little, Fred doesn't pursue the matter any further and asks the driver to continue.
That night, while Fred tries to sleep, the sound of distant drumming comes in through the window. He closes the window, but it doesn't help much. Fred gets little sleep, as much from the noise as from the eerie reactions he got from the stewardess and taxi driver.
In the morning Fred makes his way, yawning, down to the dining room for breakfast. He spies a waiter serving coffee, and wanders up to him. The drumming sound can be heard drifting across the dining room. "Tell me," inquires Fred in his most casual voice, "do the drums ever stop beating?" The waiter almost drops the coffee all over him. "NO!" he cries. "Drums stop - very very very bad!"
Fred decides to find out why it is such a terrible thing if the drums stop, and asks the waiter. The waiter looks at Fred as if he is mad, places the coffee down on the table and says, "Drums stop... bass solo starts!"
Three musicians are shipwrecked on an uninhabited island.
One day a bottle floats in.
They open the bottle and a genie pops out.
Genie: "I will grant you three wishes."
Genie: "Since there are the three of you, each of you will have one wish."
Piano player: "I wish I was home."
Boom! The piano player is magically transported off the island.
Bass player: "I wish I was home, too."
Boom! The genie magically transports the bass player off the island.
Drummer: "Man, I miss my friends already. I wish they were here ..."
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